REFLECTION
There are varied meanings of the word reflection. Aside from the scientific definition of mirror images or light being thrown back without being absorbed, the focus here will be on reflection as serious thought or consideration, a review or reexamination of something, and a recollection of the past, typically in reference to the present.
January 2023 started out as my first New Year’s alone, reflecting on the past year (2022) when my husband died. There were so many changes, so much to do, and so much sadness. Looking ahead into 2023 was scary and daunting with so many unknowns. Now it seems like in a flash, 2023 is past and it’s time to reflect on it. The unknowns have been revealed. They are now written in time, not to be disputed, only to be reflected upon.
There were monumental unknowns for me on January 1, 2023. First there were the practical issues: What would I do, how would I manage? I knew I did not want to stay in my house. Where should I go? Then the more esoteric issues: Could I be content living alone? Would I be lonely? Could I avoid the pitfalls of new widows being preyed upon by scammers and catfishers? Is it a mistake to move away from family and friends?
Lo and behold, there are now answers for all of those worries. With the help of family and friends I sold my home, got rid of 50 years accumulation of stuff, bought a condominium at the beach in Florida, and managed the estate without major financial errors (at least as far as I know for now). I haven’t been scammed or catfished. I moved from the city where I’d lived my entire life and had family to a place where I did not know one soul. I can honestly say I haven’t been lonely. I have been alone more than ever before in my life, but that’s not the same as being lonely.
So what? Reflecting can be good but one must be careful not to dwell in the past. Take from it what we can learn. Cherish the good memories. I’ve heard it said that God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December. There is nothing wrong in remembering good times of laughter and love. Those kinds of reflection are healthy.
Living vicariously through memories to the point we neglect to live in the present is unhealthy. Wallowing in the past, remaining so sad over losses, regrets, poor choices, and mistakes to the point we can’t function or move forward may lead to clinical depression. Examine those not-so-good times, reflect on what might have been done differently to produce a more desired outcome, and use that to produce different results in the future, then let it go. Continually reliving past regrets or wrongs committed against one can eat away at our emotional state and keep us from moving ahead.
When I write I am more of a pantser than a planner. Not entirely spontaneous, nor as detailed as an outline, just a general idea of where I want the manuscript to go. I like to leave myself available to the muse, the inner voice, or the new research discovery that might affect my writing. In life, I’m not one of those bullet journal people who like to set timelines and goals written in stone. There’s a meme from way back before the term was even invented that is actually an old Yiddish proverb and has some basis in scripture. It says Man plans and God laughs.
Being open to God’s direction is always a prerequisite for me. Pray! Listen! Read his word! Still, I like to have a general idea of what I’d like to accomplish. I won’t be so quaint as to call these resolutions. That would only set me up for failure. What’s on my horizon? I’d like to finish my two works in progress. I’d like to connect with a literary community, make new friends, and find a spiritual home in my new location. Perhaps I will consider traveling somewhere new. And then there are always the same old standbys –family harmony, improved health, sanity and world peace.
As you move into 2024 I wish you good will, health, and happiness. Savor every moment. Be mindful. Seek God’s guidance. As in the words of an old, wannabe hippie, make love not war.
Peace.
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I am so pleased to sign up for your Blog. You are someone who blesses others through you writing and sharing your life experience.
Thank you Kathryne. Always happy to welcome a new follower.
Thank you for your poignant reflections. I could only wish to be as resilient, positive, directed, and accomplished were I in your situation. You are an inspiration, Janet.
Thank you Suzanne. If you’ve ever read my mission statement on the home page, that is my mission- empowering others with my writing. And I do believe it is God given.
Janet, reading this made me so happy for the work God continues to do in you! You have solely relied on your faith and continue to encourage each of us by walking us honestly and openly through your journey. May God continue to be your source as you onto use to write!
Thank you Denise. I don’t know how people without a relationship with God get through life.
Peace! I enjoyed reading your journey through 2023.
Thank you Jeff.
Just finished reading your latest blog during breakfast. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Happy New Year
Glad you enjoyed reading and that you are feeling better.
On Point!!! Janet, I needed your wisdom right now. Thanks, dear friend!! May you be blessed abundantly in 2024.
Thank you Jill. As you well know, going through bad times, as well as good, gives us insights we might not have otherwise.
Thanks, Janet. Very well said & written. I am going to try to forward this to a friend who lost her husband tragically in a motorcycle accident about a couple of months ago and she is really having a hard time.
God Bless and may 2024 be a wonderful year for you.
Thank you Margie. One of the blessings of tragic times is that they enable one to help others. I pray this helps your friend.